So i'm just fucking gagging on this bob right now...turn the page and this new chick...not the xmen chick...this new chick, she's like running across the moon with a box tucked under her arms...she's on the run too just like those other two dudes, the umbrella dudes but there's no fucking way she's out for a stroll...she's got something on her mind no doubt...she's all covered up like one of those muslim chicks...what's in the box, i don't know...but it looks to me like one of those indiana jones type deals, where if you open up that box, you're fucked big time...like whatever is in the box will fuck you up...will hit you FULL FUCKING ON...fucked up thing on her part is it looks like she's wearing house slippers...can't get away too quick with house slippers on, but maybe she had no choice and had to get the fuck out on the double...anyway she's on the moon, and you can see earth in the background...like earth is probably fucked right...anyway, the chick with the box is on the run and she's looking at some dudes that look like their car is stuck in some moon quicksand or some shit...their fault cause there's a fucking sign that says "road closed" which they ignored to their peril...just noticed some pyramids on the moon, and that's fucked up right there, i can go on for hours what i think about that...but the funny part is...the title to this page is called "And the Winner Is..." like it's a race...and the chick with the box and the guys with the car stuck in moonsand are all in a race...like the cannonball run type deal...anyway, they're in a race when all of a sudden patrick pops up out of nowhere with a fucking tennis racket, like totally missing the boat...thinking he's showing up for a tennis match when really it's some fucked up post apocalyptic race...fucking funny dude...
So i don't know if this bob is fucking me up, like changing my perspective on how i view children's books...i mean, first i thought they were longer, cause this spongebob book is only like 3 pages long...another thing is i don't remember shit being this dark in kids books...but who fucking knows right...who knows what the gatekeepers let in...anyway, page 3 is a shorty...got a couple of jokes on a couple different levels...i see that shit bro, cause the bob makes me see that shit bro...i don't know where this page is taking place but it looks hot as fuck, like too hot for me...i can't even stay in the regular sun for too long...and don't even talk to me about infared saunas bro, i get all fucked up in those thinking some dude is going to lock me in and then i have to try and somehow get out but i only have so much time because it's so fucking hot...i get nightmares about that shit bro...anyway, it looks fucking hot...and there's this tv that's giving off this strong while light...almost shooting it out like a ray gun or something...but then there's this dude in full winter outfit, shoveling that white light like it's fucking snow and trying to shovel that television snow right back into the tv...and he's like a hero or something cause the caption above says "He is our only hope..."...like shits serious right...but at the same time it's kind of funny...and what's really funny is like the caption could mean what that dude's doing but it could also mean what patrick's doing to the right of the tv, which is trying to unscrew a really tight lid off a jar and just giving every fucking thing that he's got...like those stories of dudes who can lift cars off people to save their lives and shit...patrick's just giving 110 percent...like what's in that jar will save humanity and patrick's our only hope!
Man, I loved that shit, i put that shit into my pocket and brought it home to my boy and told him he had to read that shit, cause it will change how he views fucking kids books and he looked at me kind of fucked and said it was just a spongebob book and nothing special and all that...and then i looked at him kind of fucked and said that was the shit right there...whatever right...let bygones be bygones...roll up another bob and call it a day....
